I Know a No in Disguise






“A no in disguise.”*

  • I’ll get back to you on that.
  • I don’t have my calendar with me.  Let me check it give you a date.
  •  have to check with so and so about such and such…

In other words:

  • you don’t want to meet with me,
  • you don’t plan to follow-up on the project and
  • you are full-of-manure, fake, phony... 

You might be on of those people always talking about what you’re “fittin’” to do, who just want to go on record as being interested and helpful even though you don’t plan to follow through and do anything.  (You know who you are.)

It’s a no in disguise (except when I say those things, of course).

There are also lies in disguise, as when so many people say to someone who knows me, that they've been trying to reach me.

“I’ve been trying so hard to reach you…”  (Uh, no you haven’t.  If you googled me you can find me plus my phone and email haven’t changed in six years.)

“You’re so tough to get a hold of.”  (Uh, leave a message on the answering machine. I’m not tough to get a hold of.  I return phone calls and email messages.  So you must be lying.)

Anyhow...



(*Thanks to my husband for this phrase. It hits the nail on the head.)

 

 

 

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Comments

  • 10/20/2009 3:34 AM Jim wrote:
    My favorite is the "yes" which actually means "no way, but yes sounds better."
    Reply to this
  • 10/20/2009 2:32 PM Sarah wrote:
    My husband is the king of "no" in disguise, or, as I call it, beating around the bush. While I hate to hurt the feelings of people I love, I think it's worse to waste people's time. So, I am very direct (and as a result have to handle much of the confrontations that come with being a parent and a homeowner).

    Sigh.
    Reply to this
    1. 10/20/2009 7:24 PM Candelaria wrote:

      I agree.  I tend to be direct, too, but am trying to soften it somewhat because it can be so off-putting to some people.  Thanks for your comment.


      Reply to this
  • 10/22/2009 1:06 PM LeeAnn wrote:
    OH! This is too unreal - you need to go to Cheerio Road today and read her blog post called, "What I know to be untrue" (or something very close to that). It's too funny that you both wrote, in your very different ways, the same blog post!
    Reply to this
    1. 10/23/2009 7:35 AM Candelaria wrote:
      I wll check it out.  Sometimes ideas float around in the universe and we pick up on them.
      Thanks for your comment.
      Reply to this
  • 10/28/2009 12:05 PM Anali wrote:
    I hate when people do that!! I've heard the same thing. "Oh I've been trying to reach you!" What a bold faced lie.

    Good post. I guess we can all relate. Unfortunately. *sigh*
    Reply to this
  • 11/2/2009 7:00 PM George wrote:
    The oblique after-the-fact lie is prefaced by "I mean't to..." and "I forgot to..." as in "I mean't (I forgot) to call to tell you we were having a party. It was the bomb." I learned these lies in Passaic, New Jersey, my hometown. However something tells me they're universal, like CP time.
    Reply to this
    1. 11/2/2009 7:58 PM Candelaria wrote:
      Sho' you right!
      Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment.
      Reply to this
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