I have a confession to make.  Sometimes I think mean things.  Venemous things.  In rhyme.  Like:

You made me cry,

So you now you have to die.

You didn’t call,

So now you’re gonna fall.

You didn’t stay,

And  now you’re gonna pay.

You brought me low

And now you’ve got to go.

You made a slip

So now I’m ‘bout to flip.

You told a lie

And now you’re gonna fry.

These mean, often rhythmic thoughts started in childhood, when my friends and I often said this retort:

“Forget you, forgot you, (I) never thought about you.”

And the always punchy:

“Up your nose with a rubber hose.”  (And I would think, “Up your ass with a piece of glass,” but I couldn’t say that because someone would certainly tell my mama who wouldn’t have been none-too-pleased.)

I don’t know why I these kinds of thoughts pop in my mind but they always have.  Not that I’d ever do any of them. 

“I wouldn’ follow him across the street” (I thought when I listened to the self-appointed, media-anointed, so-called leader of “the community.”)  I actually said that one aloud.

“Poof.  You don’t exist anymore…at least not to me.” ( I imagine a burial ceremony and offending party becomes as good as dead to me.)  I know it’s not nice but it’s what I’ve done in a few extreme circumstances.

Shhhhh. Be quiet. I make myself  surrender to silence so I won't say the mean things that pop up immediately, many of which are too vicious to put in this blog post.  (I'll save them for my fiction.)  I can ignore someone for days, biting my tongue, locking my not nice retorts or communication of any kind up.

Do other people have mean thoughts like this?  I’m not talking about the crazies who actually go off their rockers and do nasty, vile things. I’m talking about the regular folks like I think I am.  Does my husband ever think, “Off with her head” when I’ve done something to offend him?

Recent angry rhyme that came into my head:

Who got stuck behind the garbage truck?

Candelaria did.

Which made her so late she said:

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

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