Good & Plenty - Candelaria Silva's Blog: Recent Comments

Comment on Giving Critical Feedback

2010-07-27T12:54:43Z

Appreciated you comments - tricky stuff
this getting older and actually knowing helpful info, but equally knowing how much we don't know. Agree emails are a very tricky place to give much feedback
since tone isn't immediately evident. Nice to know electronic communication can not replace the personal everywhere.
Seems to me one of our jobs as elders in community and family is to listen, observe, and then be brave enough to offer what thoughts we have. Wisdom is
important to share, even if individuals do roll their eyes occasionally. Sometimes folks aren't ready to hear feedback at the moment, but often appreciate it in retrospect. I've certainly always valued
every piece I've heard from you!

Comment on Giving Critical Feedback

2010-07-27T11:29:02Z

Giving feedback can be tricky, especially if the person or people for whom it is intended are not receptive. You can rarely do anything about their receptivity in a single exchange, so the most important thing to do when delivering feedback is to remove as much of yourself and as much of value-judgment that you can. Be neutral, or even less, self-deprecating maybe, journalistic perhaps, innocent. You might be able to ask innocent questions like Peter Falk used to do in his role as Colombo, the shambling detective who wasn't taken seriously until the answers were all too obvious. Whatever you do, I think it's important that you realize that an unreceptive person will rarely be reflective about any information they get that is charged in anyway. Unreceptive people are often defensive. Frequently, the only way they can receive is by believing that they have realized it themselves. You must be able to hand over everything, especially the credit. Tough business for the ego, but rewarding if the end result is more important than the personalities and especially if the status quo is unbearable, intolerable, or dangerous.

Comment on Giving Critical Feedback

2010-07-27T10:43:03Z

Egos dwell in well defended fortress. Consider compassionate observation vs critical feedback.

Comment on Giving Critical Feedback

2010-07-27T03:12:06Z

At Toastmasters we learn that criticism should be given in a sandwich. The bread is the good points. The meat is what can be improved. You start by giving a positive comment about the person's performance, followed by points to improve, and ending with another positive comment. By thinking about a person's positive points, it softens how you deliver the negative. Ending on an up note is good for both of you.

Comment on What is good?

2010-07-26T23:58:49Z

Often I have trouble getting past "is." The next step, "good" is so malleable, so relative, it frequently stymies me. I like it when it's clear...as in your new hair care salon. By the way, what is hair?

Comment on What is good?

2010-07-21T21:53:11Z

Good isn't good enough...can't say why, but that sticks in my psyche. Must have been my parents. A "B" was good. A meal is good. Clothing is good. A haircut is good. A person can get by on good. This comment is good.

Comment on A Week's Worth of Food Fabulous Food

2010-07-20T02:04:01Z

I promise to not look at your website on an empty stomach. You've got me licking my chops. MMMMM-mmmmm good!

Comment on What happens when you don’t listen to your first instinct – a mini-adventure on the T in Dorchester

2010-07-20T01:50:58Z

i was told that your gut instinct is God whispering in your ear

Comment on What of a Summer Evening? (Tito Puente Latin Music Series)

2010-07-16T19:47:18Z

Looks like a fantastic series!

Comment on What of a Summer Evening? (Tito Puente Latin Music Series)

2010-07-16T16:15:00Z

Thanks for sharing your eve, Candelaria!
We are a marvellous species indeed. Will
definitely try to make it over there to
savor music and community!